Every now and then we may try and convince ourselves that we don’t need friends to get us where we are in the life. However, that is not entirely true, we do need someone to help us up and get us started again. Even when we are started, we all need that one big push to get us going smoothly throughout the roads ahead of us — That is a friend.
A friend is someone who you can trust and speak to. They will always remind you of Allah when in a bad situation and make dua for you. As a friend, you will do the same, not forcefully but out of kindness which is what brothers and sisters do in Islam. Not only for people you know, but the people who are in need of help. It’s true that there will always be someone who you will clash with and perhaps even spread hatred towards, but we should refrain from allowing these negative feelings to develop, and allow shaytan to corrupt our friendships.
It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Do you know what gheebah (backbiting) is?” They said, “Allah and His Messenger know best.” He said, “Saying something about your brother that he dislikes.” It was said, “What if what I say about my brother is true?” He said, “If what you say is true then you have backbitten about him, and if it is not true, then you have slandered him.”
Be very wary on choosing your group of friends, because the ones that will get you to Jannah will remind you what is Haaram and what is Halal. The people who will push you towards Jahnam will be the ones who say “It’s only for this day, why not pray tomorrow.”Always remember the wise words of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasalam, Abu Huraira reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “A man is upon the religion of his best friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends.”( Sunan Abu Dawood)
Don’t let anyone control your life and make your decisions, consciously or subconsciously, because as at the end of the day you are responsible for your actions. Personally, I choose my friends based on their deen, personality and how they treat themselves rather than their appearance. Honestly, choosing someone with a good appearance over their personality is like looking at a cake with good icing and design but when you take a bite of it, it tastes disgusting.
To be honest, I’ve never really had friends I thought being alone was better as I wouldn’t have friend issues. However, since two years living in Saudi Arabia, my mind set has changed due to me feeling sick of always being alone and not having anyone to share my joy with. I then started going to events, speaking to people, and I even entered a group with a lot of friends. Sadly, my friendship with one of the girls didn’t last and it became a lot harder than I expected. In the end it took me five years to find the right friends that I needed. Surprisingly, they are the ones who are actually part of Muslim Youth Society masha’Allah and I couldn’t be happier.
Abu Musa reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, the parable of a good friend and a bad friend is only that of a seller of musk and a blacksmith. The seller of musk will give you some perfume, you will buy some, or you will notice a good smell. As for the blacksmith, he will burn your clothes or you will notice a bad smell.”
Friendship is a gift, do not be afraid and hold yourself back for fear of rejection. Share the gift that you possess with someone else and strive to be that friend that gives a person in need the push that helps them get to a better place.